


Take What I Can Get

by Bubblebirdie



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24636970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubblebirdie/pseuds/Bubblebirdie
Summary: The woodland geraniums were a pleasant shade of purple that went nicely with the red blood staining the petals' edges.All heroes must fall. Some die in battle but most of much more mundane things. But oh, how it must feel to die of what truly brings you alive.
Relationships: Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Lance Hunter/Bobbi Morse, Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Skye | Daisy Johnson & Agents of SHIELD Team
Comments: 16
Kudos: 38





	Take What I Can Get

It wasn’t instantaneous. She didn’t love within moments of meeting her because that’s not how it works. Rather, it happened slowly- bits and pieces coming together until she could see what it was. And it was an all-encompassing galaxy-reaching love for Jemma Anne Simmons. She didn’t recognize it until long after jealousy had roared its ugly head, and she had spent hours wondering why on earth she had felt that way.

“How do you know you love someone?” she had asked. The team was a having a relatively peaceful night- something not easy to come by- and in their free time, lounging in the common room. Happy to be in one another’s company in a non-life-threatening situation. It was an innocent question. She saw what Bobbi and Hunter; Fitz and Simmons; and hell, Coulson and May had- she was bound to wonder.

“Well, it’s when they make you want to strangle them because they didn’t do the dishes again, and all you can think is we’re going to need a bigger sink because dammit, water’s going all over the floor,” Bobbi offered giving Hunter a pointed look. “Falling in love- that’s easy. But loving them, you know you love them when you want to make it work,” Suddenly, she had a lot more questions. Because what exactly did Bobbi mean about “wanting to make it work”. Was “wanting to make it work” waiting outside the lab with a tub of blackberry chip ice cream and a (badly) written apology when she annoyed Jemma? Was it trying to work through their petty arguments and going far past compromising? So, as other team members put in their two cents, she just sat there, leaning against Jemma’s legs, thinking. She almost missed Jemma speaking.

“Love is keeping on fighting for someone and never giving up on them. Because with them by your side, you are unstoppable,” the words reminded her of Jemma, but Jemma was staring across the room at Fitz. And in that moment, she hated herself for not being able to feel happy for Jemma and Fitz. Her two best friends because there was something completely wrong with her. Because she was caught in between them- the greatest love the world had ever scene. The story of Fitzsimmons was one of love and genius. The story of Daisy Johnson was one of loneliness and heartbreak.

She wasn’t always alone of course. She had Coulson and May in her corner as always. Mack was like a big brother, and Yo-Yo was always up to spar. Lincoln had warmed her bed for a while, and she’d even had a small affair with Piper when they were stuck in space. But the pocket of her heart that was meant to be filled by a lover was empty. All there was there was Jemma. It hurt, but she’d grown used to the pain.

It was silly not to know who’s flowers you were coughing up. And she had in a way, but she’d ignored it. If she had to face the geraniums in her trash can, she would have to do something about it. But when she did finally face them, she didn’t do anything, so really, it wouldn’t have mattered. They were woodland geraniums otherwise known as wood cranesbill, and they meant a hell of a lot of different things. Each definition pertained to a certain geranium. She found it rather confusing, but her favorite meaning was gentility because Jemma was all royal and dainty. A regular old royal princess. Even though nothing about Jemma could ever be regular.

During the agonizing months where Jemma was on Maveth, she coughed up less flowers. And she hated it. She’d do anything for them to come back in mountains- choking her up, but they were still coming and so hope held out. Was she jealous that Fitz got to hold Jemma in his arms when they got her back? Yes. Did matter? No and she brought her flowers in exchange for a precious watery smile. She’d take what she could get.

When she woke up in the Framework, she laughed bitterly because A.I.D.A. had got it all wrong. It was all wrong. Grant Ward was her boyfriend, and Fitz was evil. How could a machine even begin to comprehend how she felt for Jemma Anne Simmons anyway. It exceeded ones and zeroes. She didn’t feel a flower petal stuck in her throat until after she and Jemma were safe. It was like her first one all over again. She let out a bitter chuckle when she saw it because she’d never escape the agony would she.

It’s not like she could get rid of the flowers. Jemma would find out, and she would avoid that at all costs. Jemma had no cause for the guilt she knew she'd feel if she found out. Besides, she couldn’t exactly forget Jemma- her life didn’t work that way. She’d been hiding the flowers from Jemma for years- disintegrating them with her powers. That particular little trick was helpful when it came to the shrike.

She didn’t actually know why she had flowers growing in her lungs. She had found a few articles on it, but they didn’t fit her situation. Jemma and Fitz were soulmates. Everyone knew that. How could she be dying for someone who didn’t have _Daisy Johnson_ inked on her arm? It didn’t matter. What mattered was that as they traveled through the 30s, she got to see Jemma. She got to brush her hair at night and do it up into period-appropriate curls. It didn’t matter that it had been seven painful years. That every day, more blood came up with the flowers. And then, there was more blood that flower because the flowers were stuck in her throat. And she couldn’t breathe enough to make sure nobody let Jemma find out why she had died. She was choking on her love. Geraniums sprung up in her throat, and she was forced to her knees. She shut her eyes, and a tear trickled down her cheek to water the flowers.

Daisy Johnson died from Hanahaki disease. It wasn’t instantaneous. Rather, the flowers grew slowly over a course of seven years until there was no more room for air. Because with Jemma by her side, she was dying from the very love that claimed to make her unstoppable. Purple flowers shot out of her skin and decorated her grave, and Jemma Simmons visited often. It didn’t matter though because she was already gone. 


End file.
